K is for Kodak
by Jelsemium
Summary: Don and Robin Eppes have a baby! Awww... very fluffy, you might want to brush your teeth after. Yes, for the 2006 Summer Alphabet Challenge at Numb3rs dot org.


K is for Kodak

Disclaimer: If you are killed or captured, the secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions. Um, oops. Your mileage may vary… Um, no? Do not operate heavy machinery while reading this. No? You're sure? Brush and floss vigorously after reading... Oh, all right: I don't own the characters. I don't make any money at this.

To tell the truth, though, I'd still advise the brushing and flossing directly after reading this story. I thank you and your dentist will applaud you.

Don cradled our newborn against his chest with awe. "He's so beautiful!" he crooned and nuzzled the dark curls. "My baby, my buddy, my firstborn!" He beamed at me. He has such a nice smile; I hope Robert has that smile. "_Our_ firstborn!"

I smirked. "I'm so glad you're impressed," I said. "But you don't need to keep emphasizing the 'firstborn', because he's the 'lastborn' as well!"

Don grinned at me. "Surely you don't mean for our son to be an only child! Think of how much joy and wonder he'll be missing out on!"

I laughed. "I'd have been more impressed if you and Charlie hadn't regaled me with horror stories of your own childhood." I shifted my weight in an effort to get more comfortable and spat out the f-word because I couldn't.

Don perked up. "I'd love to, Robbie," Don said. "But I thought your ob-gyn said you had to wait for four to six weeks."

I glared at him. "In your dreams, buster," I growled.

"What? I thought the 'I'm going to rip your gonads out' phase would pass after the baby was here," he looked hurt.

"Maybe after the pain passes," I grumbled. "It always looked so easy on TV and the movies. Nobody mentions that the pain doesn't instantly stop when the baby arrives."

Don perched on the edge of my bed and stroked my hair. That felt so nice. He really is a sweetie, but don't tell him I said. He'd be embarrassed.

"You want me to call the nurse?" he asked. "Get you some more pain meds?"

I nodded. "Yeah, that might be a good idea. Another ice pack would be great, too."

The nurse delivered some pain meds that I could use even though I'm going to be nursing Robert. I got more comfortable, well, less uncomfortable, on my ice pack while Don cuddled with the baby.

"We could have a girl," Don said after a few minutes. "You and your brother didn't fight much, did you?"

"We did fight, and giving birth to a girl is every bit as painful as giving birth to a boy, so forget it." I shifted a little. The pain pills had started to kick in, but I was still sore. "Unless you want to adopt."

"Awwww, Robin," Don said. He held out our son. "Look at that face, how can you deny the world a second face as an adorable as this?"

He had me there. I stroked Robert's cheek while I searched for a way out of this. Fortunately, at that moment, someone appeared in the doorway.

"Yes," I crooned. "You are adorable, aren't you, honey?" I nuzzled his dark curls. "It's a good thing you got your uncle's hair instead of your daddy's!"

Don rose to the bait, as I expected. "Hey!" He ran his hand over his closely cropped hair. "I'd have curls, too, if I didn't keep this cut regulation length."

I gaped at him in mock indignation. "You've been holding out on me, Don Eppes!" I scolded.

This provoked a hoot of laughter from the watcher in the doorway.

Don twisted around and flashed a warm smile at the latest visitor. "Charlie! You made it!"

"Barely," Charlie walked in carrying a satchel and a long gold box. I've seen enough florist boxes to guess what was in it. My poor brother-in-law had just returned from a trip to Japan and was unshaven, red-eyed, and just a little unsteady on his legs.

"Buddy, you looked like something the cat barfed up," said my husband, the diplomat. NOT!

Charlie flashed a weary grin. "Thanks, Don, you say the nicest things." He heaved a sigh. "Too bad it's always to somebody else."

He dropped his carry-on next to the visitor's chair and placed the gold box on the nightstand next to our digital camera.

Don reacted like a kid who had just seen Santa Claus. "What did you bring me?" he demanded, grabbing at the bag with his free hand.

"Nothing! Leggo!" Charlie snatched his bag back up, not that it did him any good. Don wrapped his free arm around Charlie's neck and squeezed. All the while cradling _our son_ in his other arm.

"Don! Put Robert down!" I scolded. "Actually, wait." I grabbed the digital camera and snapped a few shots. Immediately, Don began mugging for me - baby in one arm, baby brother in the other. That was definitely going up on my blog.

When I finished, I sized up the situation and shot an apologetic look at my brother-in-law. "Sorry about this, Charlie. Don, you'd better put your brother down before you drop our baby."

Charlie winced in anticipation.

Sure enough, my darling husband dropped his brother on his coccyx.

"Ow," Charlie said, landing on his sit upon.

"Sorry," I said, wincing in sympathetic pain.

"Not your fault," Charlie said, glaring up at Don.

Don smirked down at him.

I shifted my weight around and reached for my child. Don laid him gently into my arms before pouncing on his brother again and giving him a noogie.

"Hey!" Charlie protested.

"Play nicely," I admonished.

"Okay," Don sighed elaborately.

"Thank you," Charlie said. "I knew getting you a present was a good idea." He gestured to the box that I'd been too distracted to look at.

"Roses?" I guessed as I picked it up.

Charlie's brow quirked quizzically. "I thought you were allergic?" he said. He looked around the room, noting that the bouquets that contained roses had been placed at the far side of the room. Not everybody is as thoughtful as my brother-in-law.

"Besides, I figured that you'd need sustenance," he added.

I peered into the clear top. "Chocolate covered strawberries!" I squealed. "Damn, I think I married the wrong Eppes!"

Don's eyebrows went up. Charlie stuck his tongue out.

"So, what did you bring me?" he asked, again.

"The Asian Flu," Charlie retorted.

"Aw, c'mon." Don picked up Charlie's bag again.

"Don," Charlie scolded. "I had my bags shipped straight home so I wouldn't have to haul them around when I hit LAX."

"You did bring me something!" Don was delighted. Honestly, my husband and his brother can be such children at times. Although, to be fair, Don was probably flying pretty high on adrenaline at the time.

Charlie grinned. "Of course," he said. He plopped into a chair and reached out a hand to stroke Robert's hair. Close up he looked even more ragged. That trip had taken a lot out of him.

"How was Tokyo?" I asked.

"Apparently Tokyo consists of an airport, three conference room, two lecture halls and a hotel room," Charlie said wearily.

"Poor Chuckie," Don said lightly.

"How's Amita feeling?" I asked. My sister-in-law had been feeling under the weather for the past couple of weeks. I was beginning to feel worried. I hadn't been able to get over to see her, and Don's reports of 'She's fine.' would have been more convincing if I hadn't been sure he wouldn't try to protect me from the worst.

"Tired," Charlie replied. "She sounded as tired as I feel," he added. He looked at Don. "She said to thank you for grocery shopping for her."

Don shrugged, suddenly modest. "It was nothing. She's been helpful to us, too."

I nodded. I use computers, but Amita is a whiz when it comes to setting up home computers. She set up mine and my mother's. Not to mention all our other home electronics. I don't have to worry about missing my favorite shows anymore.

Charlie came over to look at the baby. "He's cute," he said.

"Y'know, Buddy, he looks just like you did when Mom and Dad brought you home," Don said. He came over to stand next to Charlie and stroke Robert's hair.

"Really? You remember that?" I asked curiously. Don had only been five at the time.

"Oh, yeah, most traumatic day of my life," Don proclaimed.

Charlie rolled his eyes.

I gave a snort of laughter. "I hope you're not finding _this_ traumatic," I said.

"No, this is great!" Don was about bouncing from excitement.

"Would you like to hold your nephew?" I asked.

"Please," Charlie said with a sweet smile. I wouldn't mind if the baby had his smile, either. I just hope my boy didn't inherit the Eppes' nose.

Charlie was a quick study on the fine art of baby holding. His dark eyes were thoughtful, and did look a lot like Robert's.

I took another shot of Charlie and Robert and twisted around to set the camera back on the nightstand.

"I'm going to need a bigger memory card," Don joked.

"Here, let me take care of that," Charlie said, handing Robert back to me. He took the camera, and then shot a picture of us.

I sighed.

"What's wrong?" Charlie asked worriedly.

"She's getting tired of the paparazzi," Don said.

I shook my head. "Honestly, I looked like something the cat dragged in," I said.

"Cat's got good taste," Charlie remarked.

"Hey!" Don protested. "No flirting with my wife!" he swatted at Charlie, who ducked under the blow by dropping to one knee.

"Don, get over there," Charlie said, motioning to my bed. "Group hug, guys!"

Don sat on the bed and snuggled up to us. He's very tactile with me, but I think this time he was establishing his territory. I started to giggle.

Charlie took a couple of shots of the three of us and put the camera back on the nightstand.

Don straightened.

"Wait!" Charlie said. He picked up his bag and began to rummage through it.

Don craned his neck.

"It's not here," Charlie said.

"What?" Don asked. "Did you lose your camera?"

"No," Charlie stood up, camera in hand. "I meant your present isn't in here," he said.

"Aww," Don slumped back. "The present is not present," he said mournfully.

Charlie barked out a laugh. "That sounds like something Larry would say."

"Oh, Lord, I'm getting all Fleinhardt," Don said.

Charlie shot a few more pictures, all the while giving instructions like a fashion photographer. "Okay, look left, look right, look sexy, c'mon, Bobby-baby, work it!"

With one accord, Don and I stuck our tongues out at him.

Charlie caught that pose, too. "Ah, your son will be so thrilled to have this blackmail material to counterbalance the pictures Don will be taking over the next eighteen years or so."

Don laughed. Then he bounced to his feet. "It's too bad you didn't get here sooner. Dad could have given you a ride home." He nodded. "You took a cab here from the airport, right? I can drive you home."

"I hope you didn't try to drive," I added.

"No, I didn't drive, but Dad's still here," Charlie said. "No need for you to leave your wife and child… in order to get a peek at your present."

Don and I exchanged startled looks. Then he checked his watch and I checked the clock on the wall.

"Dad left about half an hour ago," Don said. "Why is he still here?"

Charlie laughed. "He's showing off his photo printer. You know, the one we got him for Father's Day? He's started a cottage industry printing up pictures for other proud grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, third cousins, nurses… etc."

I grinned. Alan loved his portable printer.

"Cool," Don said. He immediately appropriated our camera. "I need some photographs for the house, and my cubicle, and the break room, and…"

"Don Eppes! Don't you dare!" But I was too late. Don was gone.

At least for two minutes. Then he reappeared and snatched Charlie's camera out of his hands.

"Hey!" Charlie protested.

"You'll get it back when I get my present!" Don called over his shoulder as he disappeared again.

Charlie rolled his eyes. "Looks like you're pin-up mother of the month, whether you want to be or not," he said.

I sighed. "I'm a mess!"

Charlie shook his head. "No, you're being too hard on yourself. You look fine!"

I pushed my hair back as best I could with one hand. I squinted at him.

"Well, compared to me, anyway," Charlie added.

"Charlie, with absolutely no disrespect intended…" I started.

"Winos in the gutter look better than me," he guessed.

I laughed. "Did you really have Don's present shipped or is it in that bag?" I asked, nodding at his backpack.

"Oh, I shipped his present, and Dad's," Charlie said. "There was no way I was going to try to get past customs with a couple of samurai swords. I had them shipped from the store."

I had to laugh again.

"I got miniature swords for the rest of the team," Charlie added. "_Your_ present, on the other hand." He dug into his backpack again and pulled out a beautifully wrapped box.

"Oh, Charlie! How sweet!" I said. I shifted Robert around and Charlie held out his hands.

Okay, I'm not as present happy as my husband, but I like this kind of surprise. "You didn't have to get me anything!" I said. I handed Robert to him and took the package.

Charlie ducked his head and tickled Robert's chin. "I know," he looked up shyly. "It's just that, well, this having a sister business is way cool, y'know?"

I knew what he meant. Having Amita around was a joy. It was great to have an intelligent conversation that didn't revolve around criminal activities.

Face it, in-laws get a raw deal in fairy tales and romance stories. Mainly they were depicted as being well-intentioned nuisances at best and evil incarnate at worst. I never imagined that my brother would have so much fun golfing with my father-in-law. Or that my sister-in-law would program my mom's DVD recorder, or that I would be getting a bracelet from my brother-in-law.

It was a charm bracelet, to be exact.

"Something to add to for every one of Robert's birthdays," Charlie said. "I wasn't sure what to do for the actual day of birth." He paused. "I hope you like it."

The silver links held one charm. A zero, or an 'O' with two 'W's hanging from it. "Oww," I read. "How very appropriate." I grinned at him. "And how like you to find a way to fit numbers into the occasion!"

Charlie laughed silently. "Well, I was thinking it spelled 'Wow," he said. "But whatever works." He handed Robert back to me, then. He stroked Robert's curly hair with a wistful expression.

"Don't worry, Charlie," I said. "I'm sure you'll be getting one of these soon."

Charlie lit up like a Christmas tree. "Very soon," he replied.

Suddenly, Amita's "illness" was no longer a worrisome thing.

I gaped for a minute. "Is Amita…?"

Charlie nodded. "She's due just before the fall semester," he said excitedly. "We're holding off on announcing it." He gestured to Robert.

To allow Don and I to have the limelight to ourselves for a while. What a sweet gesture. I hope my son is as thoughtful as the other men in his family.

Still hoping against that nose, though.

Don popped back into the room. "Dad's out of paper," he announced. "He says he's ready whenever you are." He handed me our camera and a donut pillow, the kind hemorrhoid sufferers use.

I was thrilled because this would relieve pressure from my sore behind. "Thanks, sweetie," I said.

Don leaned down for a kiss.

Charlie yawned. "I can take a hint," he said. "I'll leave you two and Little Robert Alan Eppes alone."

Don beamed at him. "We changed our minds about the name," Don said. "We've decided to name the next baby after Dad, so this one is…" he paused for dramatic effect, giving me time to get a good grip on the camera. "Robert Charles Eppes."

Both of us caught Charlie's expression of amazed delight.

But only I caught the shot of Charlie flinging his arms around his brother in a hug so enthusiastic they toppled to the floor.

It was a real Kodak moment.


End file.
